Tony Flaner is a malingering part-time comedian, full-time sarcastic, who’s never had it hard, and never finished a thing in his life. He’s had twelve years to prepare for his divorce and didn’t. He had his entire life to choose a career and hasn’t. Now time’s up, and he’s in a world of trouble. But ...
#2 in the Dead Red mystery series When a troubled, homeless veteran covers her vintage Cadillac with paper snowflakes, Lalla Bains decides a showdown is needed. Unfortunately, she arrives too late for that conversation---he’s lying in a pool of blood, stabbed with his own scissors. But someone is ...
With their world destroyed and their space ship malfunctioning, the royal dogizens of Planet Canid have little choice but to crash land on Earth--in the midst of Aunt Maddie's eccentric family planning a Christmas wedding for former playboy, Ryan Madison, and elfenchaun, Dori. After rescuing the Roy ...
Librarian Janet Johnson is puzzled when she is invited—and practically dragged—to her first meeting of the Rejected Writers’ Book Club. This quirky group of women would much rather celebrate one another’s rejected manuscripts over cups of tea and slices of lemon cake than actually publish a book. Bu ...
Interior Decorator Madison Night might look like a throwback to the sixties, but as business owner and landlord, she proves that independent women can have it all. But when a killer targets women dressed in her signature style—estate sale vintage to play up her resemblance to fave actress Dori ...
Frankie Chandler is finally at peace with her life. She’s engaged to Detective Martin Bowers, her pet psychic business is booming, and she’s overcome the emotional residue of a past relationship that destroyed her self-respect. Just when everything’s going swell, trouble strolls through her front ...
From the best-selling author of "Perhaps I've Said Too Much" and "Romantic as Hell."
This suburbanite is about to meet a dashing spy… Isabel “Stan” Stanley is stuck in a rut in the DC suburbs. As a wannabe romance writer, she hopes a sexy muse falls into her lap. But she never expected a handsome spy to dive through her sunroof… Pursued by a hail of bullets, international CIA ...
Bridget Sway is newly dead. And confused. Instead of cloud cars and harp-playing cherubs, the afterlife is working a full-time job that doesn’t pay and a heinous communal living situation with housemates who have no concept of privacy or personal space. As if that wasn’t bad enough, on her first ...
When it’s your 10th year of fundraising for charity it’s hard to find a new idea. The women come up with a scheme to benefit the local hospice but it goes way past their comfort zone. Can they, should they, go ahead? Then there’s the matter of the Board of Trustees – men who are bound to op ...
A life for a life. That’s the deal I made with my father to save my best friend from the poisonous magic about to kill him.
With Davian Grymes brought to justice, I thought the memory-warping torture caused by Bliss would finally end. Unlucky for me, this disturbing nightma ...
Little Lance Pototschnik wanted to grow up and play pro football, but that pipe dream got smoked by his lethargic growth hormones and a terrible skin disorder. The death of his childhood aspirations did, however, plant the seeds for Lance to find comedy in rejection and suffering. In this gaspingly ...
“You’ve been cancelled!” Daniel North, now the most famous man in Britain, is navigating the fickle world of celebrity. It’s a daily battle as he opens his DMs – is it another unsolicited nude, or a request for him to kill himself? There’s no grey area with the Reality TV fandom, and he’s reluctantl ...
When this odd couple signs up to be extras in a fitness video, it’s lights, camera… murder. Sho Tanaka is desperate for normalcy. Uncomfortably getting by in a tiny Texas town after prescription drugs cost him his job, the last thing the disgraced nurse needs is a former tween TV star roping him int ...
FINALIST - 2016 IAN Book of the Year Awards From the bestselling author of Things Go Wrong for Me and Perhaps I've Said Too Much... In this hilarious, heartfelt and surprisingly useful book, bestselling humor author and comedian Rodney Lacroix opens up about his failed romantic endeavors and - more ...
Cute for kids, a bit twisted and funny for adults! A Guppy??
But I wanted a Puppy! Guppy Butter is the darkly humorous tale of a young girl's wish for a puppy, but who ends up getting a Guppy instead.
She tries her best to meet her father's demands that if she can keep a fish aliv ...
The Big Easy has plenty of song… …a lot of dancing and a bit of murder. Will Brandy be able to prove her friend is innocent? Brandy learned to be loyal in Catholic school. She doesn’t judge. When her best friend, Julia, an ex-stripper turned hotelier, finds the first guest of her new Bed and ...
Johnny continues his quest to find a spot in the working world and thinks he has finally found the solution: clientele who are in cages and verbally refuse his service. But when Johnny is given more responsibility than he should have, the animals, the customers, and the entire city are in for trou ...
The Alchemy of Happiness follows Aloysius Williams and his adventures in search of the meaning and practice of happiness. This satire on religion, culture and prejudice will challenge the history buffs and delight all lovers of tall-tales and happy endings.
Ever wonder what children say to Santa Claus at Christmastime? Or what it would be like to don the Santa suit and portray jolly old St. Nick? Follow this volunteer Santa, author Don Kennedy, as he visits kids for the past 25 years at hospitals, military bases, women's and children's shelters, commun ...
"OMG, if ever a book deserved more than 5 stars it’s this cracker. Outstanding, laugh out loud, panty melting goodness all wrapped up in one heartfelt package!"
"Romans having sex again is an hilarious romance of the best kind , witty, sharp and unexpectedly ...
High school senior Santana Harris' parents want her to go to college, to prepare for her future, or---at the very least---to get a job so that she can figure out what life after high school will look like. Santana doesn't want any of that. Convinced that her art will allow her to win a scholarship t ...
It's their first winter holiday together on the Shrouded Isle… American widow Becca, her two daughters, and her Scottish boyfriend, Greg, are looking forward to celebrating. But trouble comes… As an elf on the shelf moves of its own volition, a snowman attracts too much attention, and an elderly nei ...
Bobert McGee is just a regular guy. Anonymous in his job and his life, Bobert's singular obsession is to make a difference in the world. He wants to be noticed. He wants to be famous. He wants to matter. Bobert's desires come true when he stumbles across a time machine for sale on an Internet shoppi ...
Sylvia Stryker has no business being on the next Moon Unit Cruise Line, unless you count aspirations and dreams. The career that once felt within her reach—Intergalactic Cruise Ship Security—disappeared the day her dad was arrested for collusion with space pirates. Since then she’s begrudgingly been ...
When Lalla and her dad take a trip to Arizona to inspect her new property, Dad disappears. Panicked that he's lost in the desert, Lalla enlists the help of a local tracker and finds him unharmed at the bottom of a mine pit. But dad has company. A very dead local police chief. And within a stone's t ...
A despicable stock trader is found buried under an avalanche of his own garden rocks, causing fired-from-the force- Richard Sherlock to be yanked off the bowling alley and whisked to the crime scene by his pampered protegee Tiffany Richmond. He must prove murder and stop payment of the twelve-millio ...
He'd never guess that his very courage to commit could be the cause of his own downfall. Jake's loved and lost, suffered failed relationships and felt real sorrow, but the new girl in his life may just be the one to finally put an end to that life. His girlfriend Samantha is sweet and kind, full of ...
An African safari camp in North Idaho? Won’t happen, not if offbeat eco-activist Roadkill can convince his more sedate brother to help fight the fanatical developer of the canned hunt. Together they brave captive zebras and wildebeests and face down the wannabe big game hunter and his wacky minio ...
With $120 dollars in his pocket and his life back on track, Johnny heads out to the one place in the world where absolutely nothing can go wrong: Las Vegas. It isn't long before the good-hearted Johnny is involved with the city's most dangerous criminals. The clock is running and the race is on. Joh ...
Sometimes you have to play dirty. I’m Paige Harper and I clean up supernatural messes. But my personal life is something I can’t seem to straighten out. I accidentally married a fae, and even though we've been divorced for years, Jax still manages to land me in hot water. Like, putting my house on t ...
Cheese Tarts and Fluffy Socks: Complex, Enthralling Romance Novel Proves Sex & Work is a Cocktail Best Left Unshaken The most recent in a long line of celebrated romance novels from Nikki Ashton, ‘Cheese Tarts and Fluffy Socks’ zeroes in on a steamy one-night stand that, unknown to e ...
The true story of the four months I spent in Paris, France taking care of my Mom and trying not to have a nervous breakdown, mainly because I didn't know the French word for it.
"A lively beach or commute read, this quick, cheerful parody of aging, capitalism, and marriage offers a little bit of everything--comedy, suspense, romance--and even some insights into the meaning of life."
-Booklife by Publishers Weekly
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AuthorJimmy Clifton
Usual eBook Price3.99
Paperback Price11.99
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Trouble has a way of finding Johnny Tee. That's why after years of consorting with organized crime types, he is set on finding a legitimate job and making a go of it as a functional member of society. He will fail miserably. As a new trilogy begins, Johnny is off to join the world of real estate. ...
Knowing you're dying can be murder. When Gage Adder finds out he has inoperable pancreatic cancer, things really start to look up for him. He leaves his soul-crushing job, joins a nice terminal illness support group, and takes up an exciting new hobby: Serial killing.
What if the only way to escape your troubled life was through a secret portal?
In “J.J. Fowler,” a middle school outcast stumbles upon a door hidden in the blackberry bushes. On the other side is a room that shouldn’t exist—one that shifts and reshapes each time he e ...
This faceless corporate worker bee has had enough...and there's murder on her mind... After years of climbing the corporate ladder to achieve her ultimate goal---elite C-suite status---Adrian Banner has finally made it to the top of the morally corrupt mega-corporation she works for. Or so she think ...
A boy-band heart throb. A violent kidnap. A female cop’s daring rescue. A spark to fire the passion of love.
When Sergeant Sophia Castellana stumbles into an international terrorist attack, things are not as they seem. Global forces beyond her grasp sweep her up into an a ...
HETTA COFFEY IS A SASSY TEXAN WITH A SNAZZY YACHT, AND SHE'S NOT AFRAID TO USE IT! Just Add Water, winner of the National EPPIE Award for BEST MYSTERY. Hetta Coffey is a globe-trotting civil engineer with a swath of failed multi-national affairs in her jet stream. Plying the San Francisco waterfront ...
The perfect antidote for Boomer, Millennial, and GenXYZ angst! In this witty, entertaining, brilliant satire for the modern age, Rectum Leviticus shares his twisted wisdom on navigating work, relationships, debt, and more in this must-read humor book. "Thick with humor wry and pointed...This thought ...
In the quaint, twinkling town of Christmas Hills, Destiny Mellowes is just about finished with wrapping the last present of the day. When a charming stranger named Carson walks into the modest gift shop owned by her parents and asks for directions to the nearby resort, Destiny has no idea her hol ...
Bill Rodgers makes us laugh until our sides hurt in this hilarious look at current events - today and yesterday. “Bill has been making me laugh for over twenty years!” - Jay Leno “Will tickle your funny bone. Damned clever!” - Jesse Sublett, Author, Musician, Austin Character ...
"PART ROMCOM, PART MURDER MYSTERY, THEY ARE THE PERFECT WEEKEND READ."
Find out why romantic comedy mystery fans love the light and funny Maizie Albright Star Detective series. “In a nutshell, it’s pure escapism.” Included in the first omnibus from a Wall Street Journal bestselli ...
A lifeless hand rises ghost-like from a car mechanic's pit. Who does it belong to? And what happened? Annabelle and DI Nicholls set out to solve the murder, but find themselves wrapped up in not one, but three different mysteries. A puppy helps, too.
At times funny, at times frightening--a fast-paced thriller... When Sheriff Jeff McQuede's friend, Barry Dawson, tricks him into attending a Bigfoot convention at the small town of Trails' End, he finds the adventure is only beginning. He is soon invited by the head of the research team, Dr. Adam ...
“A hilarious, mile-a-minute ride! Amazon Reviewer Getting Ahead Ain’t Easy There’s a fine line between quirky and crazy. How do you know when you’ve crossed it? Everybody’s got their coping mechanisms. Val Fremden is no exception. But when her longtime boyfriend Tom Foreman takes off witho ...
Magical mayhem ensues when the Shaw family celebrates two new-to-them Scottish holidays in Poetry and Pyres, a Shrouded Isle novelette featuring Becca’s daughter, Jessie. During Robert Burns Night, An unexpected guest comes to the honored poet’s party. The meal goes awry through no fault of the ...
Ladies, do you need a good giggle-snort? Bobbi Jax, AKA BJ is a magnet for trouble. But this time it looks like things are turning themselves around. BJ hits the lottery when her dog, Twinkles, suddenly starts pooping glitter and jewels. It’s almost like BJ has her very own golden goose. Yup, life i ...
A brand new female vicar. An accident-prone nun. Two friends. Two killings. Annabelle and Mary are best friends. But when one gets framed for murder, can the other one save her? Assigned to St. Clement's Church in an inner-city borough just outside Hackney in London, Reverend Annabelle Dixon brings ...
Hollywood actress Hope Hadley doesn't think that things can get any worse for her. In the last twenty-four hours, her boyfriend has broken up with her and her long-running police procedural TV show has been canceled. ...
If there’s one thing more dangerous than fireworks, it’s dating.
Note to self: Lying facedown on the floor while my vacation home gets ransacked isn’t romantic. That break-in wrecked our simple lunch. Definitely not the date I had in mind.
My only reason for spend ...
Shelby Nichols is an average woman who is married to the only guy she ever fell for. Her life is organized and predictable, revolving around her husband and two children. All that changes the day she stops at the grocery store for some carrots. As the cashier rings up her purchases, a gunman is b ...
A Mother’s Day trip to the Netherlands turns deadly when a guest plummets from a windmill. Was it an accident or a murder? For Lana Hansen, the answer will mean freedom or imprisonment for someone close to her… Wanderlust Tours guide Lana Hansen and her mother, Gillian, haven’t seen eye to eye in ov ...
FINALIST - 2013 Next Generation Indie Book Awards (Humor/Humour) FINALIST - 2013 National Indie Excellence Book Awards (Humor/Humour) Think you've got it bad? You ain't seen nothing yet. Murphy's Law, meet Rodney's Law. If it can go wrong, it has already happened to Rodney Lacroix in the worst, most ...
"Never have disgusting, miserable living conditions been so funny. When someone finally finds a way to send back a report from hell, I hope it will be Lance Pototschnik. Except this guy is going to heaven, for the way he writes." --The Kindle Book Review “Welcome to beautiful Costa Rica! Come and ex ...
What if dogs were royalty and humans their loyal servants? Hop aboard our invisible flying machine as Aunt Maddie and Uncle Horace join an international search for a new dogdom. The Royal Canines are recruiting street dogs who want a better life with devoted humans who speak the language of dogs. As ...
What's an elf to do? Ladies, ready for another giggle-snort filled mystery? Darn that Nicky Stromboli! He’s the reason BJ has to get a job moonlighting as a winter elf. She swears that the glitter-tights that come with her costume were designed by the devil himself as a torture device. Lucky for BJ, ...
If life is a bowl of cherries, Frankie Chandler is stuck with the pits. Her new animal behavior business is a dud, the two men who were attracted to her now consider her as appealing as a plague victim, and her assertive Aunt Gertrude is in town with plans to drag her to the premiere of The Baking C ...
Frankie Chandler is a charlatan. Though she promotes herself as a pet psychic, her profound revelations come from animal behavior books and her ability to interpret the owner’s body language. Then an appointment with a new client goes horribly wrong and leaves her with images of a woman’s murder. Im ...
Writer, Beth, visits the same café every afternoon, enjoying her latte and a chocolate truffle while scribbling in her notebook. The delicious treats keep her coming back day after day, not to mention the inspiration she finds there – Samuel. The barista is tall, dark and delicious, and ...
Charlie's marriage has hit rock bottom and his bed is a lonely place. He tries his hand at erotica but will his writing light his wife’s fire or douse it out for good? Charlie’s story has her laughing into her morning latte. Charlies is a house husband and in her eyes his talents remain with past ...
I stumble upon celebrities all over Los Angeles and HAVE to talk to them. Sometimes this works out. Mostly it doesn't.
When TJ, a fat neckbeard small time youtuber living with his mom met a strange girl in his one note town, he thought his luck was changing. What he didn’t know, on her heels, a deepweb gameshow bent on bringing his hick mountain town to its knees, just for sport.
Unleashing flesh hungry z ...
“The funniest take on a bestseller since Harvard Lampoon’s Bored of the Rings.” — CNBC on Shaffer’s Fifty Shades parody, Fifty Shames of Earl Grey Jay Z. Catsby throws the sickest parties on the Jersey Shore. His neighbor Dick has heard all the rumors: Catsby killed a man. He’s richer than Blue Ivy. ...
Postmen. Poltergeists. Poteen. When former San Francisco cop, Maggie Doyle, extends her stay in Ireland, dealing with more murder and mayhem isn’t on her to-do list. The instant Maggie and her UFO-enthusiast friend discover the dead body of the Whisper Island postman, Maggie’s plans to chill for the ...
“Eclectic, eccentric, and original. Fast-paced. Absurd. Whimsical.” ─ Suidae Gazette
“Cheeky, original, and witty. Wickedly fun!” ─ Bacon Daily News
“Politically incorrect. Genius!” ─ Young Hogs
Whimsical and light-hearted, The Swines is the curious ...
In this lighthearted memoir of adventure and self-discovery, Rich Israel takes us on his journey during the tumultuous 1960s. Eschewing societal norms, he hitchhikes across the country, tries his hand at mining, works at a circus, and rides a horse hundreds of miles through the Rocky Mountain wilder ...
Love can be quite a trip. Whether it's that first magnetic encounter with a fascinating stranger, the desperate wait for a call that never comes, or even the lies and deceptions of an illicit affair, there's nothing like ...
Johnny Books 1-3 make up The Organized Crime Trilogy. Johnny Tee is a wandering vagabond with a troubled past and an even bleaker future. His decision to go the straight and narrow goes haywire when he gets mixed up in the city's dirty underbelly. Coming out on top is going to be tougher than he thi ...
Makeup. Mannequins. Murder. When ex-cop-turned-P.I. Maggie Doyle scores a lucrative undercover job at the makeup counter at a fashionable Galway department store, she expects discounted lipstick and an easy paycheck. After an altercation with a customer leads to a dead body in Maggie’s bathtub, she ...
Thaniya Rasid grew up in the Middle East dreaming of becoming a surgeon. Now living an ordinary life as a mother, wife and a hospital lab tech in Vancouver, Canada, she garners unexpected fame as youTube’s Queen of Hummus when her video demonstrating the recipe goes viral. How could blending c ...
It starts with a hangover. Could it end with an international incident? The Joy (yes, that’s what she calls herself) is the crazy glue holding together this group of reprobates. Meet six tight friends who are the picture of social, financial and ethnic diversity. They’re also struggling togethe ...
BE THE FIRST TO READ ANNIVERSARY EDITION OF GRADE A STUPID! Stephanie Plum meets Veronica Mars meets The Blacklist in this #1 Amazon Bestseller in Teens Mysteries & Thrillers, Spies and Detective Stories. Darcy Walker is a 15-year-old girl without purpose--pretty but disheveled, clever but direc ...
